Lost

I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like I am doing something wrong. Still. I really thought my time with her today would not be about everything that happened. would not be about how sad she is. or how bad I made her feel. I really thought that after two months we would be able to talk, and laugh, and feel normal. Now i just feel sick. (Now i dont know if I feel sick from all of the food I just ate, or what went down today) To be quite honest, I dont know what to believe. And I really didnt want to hear half of the things she told me. And then I get her sister who hasn't talked to me in two months, asking if I want to hang out and to hear my side of the story. No. No you don't get to hear my side of the story. You ignored me for two months and now your good? No! And then I spend my rest of the day with him. Its weird how not weird it feels. its strange how normal it was. i mean, is it normal? was it normal? I dont know!! I dont know what to do! or what to think, or how to feel... I am so lost. I know God has my back, and I know He has a plan greater than mine. But i just dont know...